WHOA IT'S ALMOST SUNDAY. i've been writing so much more about what's happened over the last few days that i haven't written any of my emo lit, i guess cause lately i've been tired and uninspired. HAH, oh well.. it's all good, don't wanna be sending out wrong messages to people who don't exactly understand what i'm trying to express. (Y)
Friday was GG .. < 3 , s2, (L) FIRST ARE THE BEST! "you're so pro!"
the wake a thon felt so fast (when it was over) that i don't even remember it happened.
so yeah, thanks NIKKO AND JASMINE for completely embarrasing me infront of whats his face < / 3 me and him could've been BFFLS haha yeah right, sh//t . and it sucked cause lukas couldn't go, and jessica got too sleepy so she left : ( HAHA falling asleep in mass.. SORRY!
after the wake a thon, james drove me to RC and i got home, and changed, and slept for 9 hours (: and now i'm still tired :(
whatta messed up week.
p.s. it's always good to vent to you guys, making sure you won't judge me, i love it, and i love you.
OMFG, i just realized that when you said " as long as i'm alive, you will be too. " so please, don't die. you're like.. immortal smerek.. except bigger HAHA. no longanisa, hot dog, or vienna sausage LOOOOOL. you're the sunshine to my rain, the message in my brain to do what's right (Y) and i love you oh so much HAHA. i also realized that i'm never fully comfortable without your presence, even though you're not in the same room, as long as you're in the same building from a short walks reach. i need your arm, your leg to sleep on for tomorrow. ( : and i need your hug even though you don't hug me back. and your back to massage and scratch when i'm bored. and your hunger to feed when i have too much food LOOOL. anyway, i'm always here for you, and i've got your back haha as you've seen lately, and thanks for having mine, seriously. i love how you're so straight up, and not even in a mean way, ilove it.. i LOVE it.. you're like the most honest person i've ever met, and if anyone says shiz about you to my face, i will own them in the ways you have taught me to take authoritah. to conclude this all..
you ARE the best. s2
p.s. shall i compare thee to hott summers day !? (:
currently listening to this title. it's catchy ( : whoa.. haven't listened to the beat in forever.
STIR:
-MIKAELA AND TOMEIA ARE BACK ( L )
SIP:
-got my cell back, is that a good thing? now that i have it, i don't want it HAHA..
UPCOMING:
-wake a thon tomorrow?
-LG neon?
-pimp my ride black.
-alviz's present and presence!
CUP OF TEA:
what happened today? i don't remember much. it was pretty chill. LOL mr. arnell palenco (Y)
CUP OF COFFEE:
WHAT? my retainers? HAHA yeah, totally fits the way i talk huh? guess you won't be hearing my voice a lot unless you feel like making a weird face at me : P
LMFAO:
thanks tomtom, for telling ms. mcgrath to choose me to read a sentence during religion WHEN I JUST PUT MY RETAINERS ON. the whole class laughed at me s/2 haha shoot.
"sir, we want to see Jesus." sounded like " thir, we wonth tho thee Jeshushth." : (
> the look of love, you wear it well, baby.. love looks good on you.
You've got fashion and style. I'm lovin' your smile and the way you get down. I can't see no one else. It's you by yourself, in spite of the crowd. Baby, no one else matters. When I'm lookin' in the mirror, you're all I see. And it couldn't be no clearer, thatI need you here with me. I was hoping you'd notice, the way that I like to have you around. Listen and you will find that your heart beats for me. Boy, I hear the sound. I'm addictedto you.
Overdose off your sweetness. I can't talk, you got me speechless. When you're close, you are my weakness. I can't get enough i overdose.
attends, As-tu été faux à moi? parce que tu n'as pas été heureux. je vais fais que? Je ne peux pas mettre loin mes émotions. et pour-ci.. je suis trés désolé. Ne fais pas confiance moi, s'il vous plait. Je suis seulement blesser tu. tu n'es pas heureux avec moi.
oh yes, grillz, baggy pants, heavy necklaces, toques, piercings, poser rappers, all that bling and slanged words..
SOMETIMES, i rather listen to chill and old school RAP instead of R&B.. crazy, i know.
but SOMETIMES it just helps me calm down, instead of filling myself with too many emotions and trying to relate to an R&B song in some way to feel it more. but I LOVE R&B, but sometimes listening to all those egotistic guys make me happy hahahahahah wtf..
i've found a new passion, and i'm surprised how many kinds i know, and how much i know about them.. which probably isn't A WHOLE LOT, but knowing me, i'm pretty damn surprised.
NO, they aren't clothes, they're ..
CARS. omfg, i find them so interesting. as of today.. since i spent freaking 3 or 4 hours at the auto mall just jumping in REALLY pretty cars i've decided how much money i'm going to save up and how i'm going to do it to get a car.
anyway, it would've been a waste to go home empty handed, or without buying more than those coffee thingers at each centre thing, we got something.. but i won't say what we got YET, until you actually see it (:
IN THE FUTURE.. after work and all that crap, i'm craving a mercedes benz SLR OR lamborghini convertible with butterfly doors.. YEAH RIGHT. or a navigator/escalade/hummer or aferrari .. OR a chevy.. with butterfly doors.. HAHA omfg, my wildest dreams s2 tesla roadster ( if our world is dying) OR a chevrolet corvette C7 HAHA. wooow... i wish i had cris angel's car or that pink panther car HAHA gg life . imma work hard to get one of you. ( L )
anyway.. getting ready for a dinner with the colobong ice cream fambam.
i just feel like expressing what i feel and opinions, u may not agree, but blogspot FTW, keep your thoughts to yourself pl00x, i just felt like writing this down to clarify things..with myself. : P
so i've been thinking about where i am in "life." and who i'm with, and who i've been talking to. when the world seems to disappear and i'm at home with just family, the people i talk the most to are like.. as close as family. i love it cause, they show they care, cause they make the effort to call YOUR number, to click on YOUR name, to write on YOUR wall not just to reply, and to choose talking to YOU over a lot of other people.. and all that shows that they care. i may not have a lot of people with whom i can actually tell my life story to, but the ones that i can say ANYTHING to, love.. a lot, and unconditionally, and i can truly say, they're the most passionate (in what they do) kind of people, and i love them passionately back for that haha. it's always a plus to have someone that agrees and understands something that's hard to explain.
something else.. it sucks having to know that you were best friends with someone, and drifted apart for no real reason, and agreed to be best friends again, and then stop talking for some gay reason, and then fix everything again and promise to be BFFs, only to realize that you two aren't that super close shit anymore. and even though you wanna be tight like the "good times," you can't, or you can atleast try to even though u know the imminent break up that you'll have. so in life, i think it's about finding the people that'll stick around from far away, if that makes any sense.
thinking about.. how pointless your words are. you know it's stupid when someone tries to get on your nerves for no reason. FOR NO REASON. FOR NO REASON AT ALL. AT ALL. like seriously.. how low/immature can you get? you're like.. wasting your own time. TRUE, i've said some things in the past, maybe this is karma.. but i'm pretty damn sure i haven't hurt anyone that bad :S oh well, drama is drama, and dramatic people are dramatic people, and drama means dramatic people. what's even MORE sad is knowing you were BEST FRIENDS with someone who's bringing the drama to you FOR NO REASON, once again.. for no damn reason. why can't we all just learn to love one another again, what do people have SO STRONGLY against me that they can't even say the shit to my face. the world has gone into a very LOW state of mind.. but i'll make sure i don't fall into it.
on that note:
- i don't know about you, but i think talking to guys about anything is way easier. cause they don't start shit, and actually keep your secrets, and don't judge. no offence, but it seems like(honestly) any girl i've gone to for problems seem to tell someone else about it, and then my privacy is shown to publicity. WHICH SUCKS BALLS. but i can say that i haven't TOTALLY NOT said stuff, though NOW or for a bit i know when to keep my mouth shut.. cause like, it's important to shut up sometimes, especially when it means respecting your friends, and knowing exactly who you'd stand up for, cause you KNOW that they'd stand up for you. but it's all good ! i'll just keep it on the low, i'm 100% sure with who i can trust now.. and it sucks knowing which people have broken it.. but that's okay too.. always try to rebuild that trust.
quote of the minute ? .. " those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " yennoe.. sometimes you can find yourself acting like someone who your not, just to make sure that people won't judge you. what i don't know yet, is who accepts you REALLY for who you are.
JE PEUX.. we should all remember what we had and stop creating drama, people have such strong stamina's these days, for such bad things < / 3
one more thing.. it doesn't bother me, i'm worried about society LOOOL oui oui.
HAHA so yeah our world is growing closer to insanity, and i've already crossed that line that officially says i have something that's LIKE downsyndrome.
TOO MANY THINGS have made my day, today was going to be the bestest day EVER, but then, i decided to stay home and chill cause i'm fuckin stupid shit.
ANYWAY, a person that has also crossed THAT insanity line would be matt alviz HAHAHAH you freaking complete my day, it's so damn funny. I LOVE IT. I HAVEN'T LAUGHED FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT LOL IN MY WHOLE LIFE. you keep our love fresh and bo$$ fo sho.
if you three follow these, i'm sure you'll be fine.
you say you can do things so easily but when the time comes, you avoid it as much as possible, and when you actually think of it, you can'timagine what you would do after it happened.
My funny Valentine, sweet comic Valentine, You make me smile with my heart. Your looks are laughable, unphotographable. Yet, you're my favorite work of art. Post a Comment
Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me. Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled. I give you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name and coolness my game, that the water's calm and I'm in command and that I need no one, but don't believe me. My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing. Beneath lies no complacence. Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness. But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope, and I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love. It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I'm really worth something. But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to. I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance, will not be followed by love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me. I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing and that you will see this and reject me. So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within. So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks, and my life becomes a front. I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me. So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but what I can't say. I don't like hiding. I don't like playing superficial phony games. I want to stop playing them. I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me, but you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes, the blank stare of the breathing dead. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings-- very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings!
With your power to touch me into feeling you can breathe life into me. I want you to know that. I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator-- of the person that is me if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask, you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic, from my lonely prison, if you choose to. Please choose to.
Do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back. It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man often I am irrational. I fight against the very thing I cry out for. But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls and in this lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands but with gentle hands for a child is very sensitive.
Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.
FOOINNALLLé, the last day of school (for spring break wooo!) which was just a few hours ago AND a dress down, which complimented to today's day. i need a break, schools wayytoo muchh to handle right now. AH, today was tiring, and im tired but awake?.. so i'm not going to list ALL the things that weeentt d-o-w-n, just as many as i can remember.
-yay beep test (: congrats last runners for all sets, 52. HAHA gg, full points. i love you PE class.
-IRISH DANCERS, yes. our CE9 class with mcgrath set up the prayer (Y) aaand JEFF C, yoou know it (:
-FRONT AND COMPANY. i went to front with mikaela, and she said she wouldn't go with me even though we pinky promised, if i didn't eat a livewire T_________T, broke my lenten promise :( hahaha so we ended up with a banana repulic shirt for mikaela for HOPEFULLY tomorrow and 2 flannels foh meh, yee boy. front is amazing, even though it's a high class consignment store :S it's pretty crazy & going shopping with mikaela LOOL.. is the best.
- OH and science class was ftl.
- bus ride was terrible : ( RICHMOND freaking sucks when it comes to public transit, i swear. i hit my head like 3 times infront of so many people. UGH.
- got home, went to london drugs and got a random purple long storage bench for my room which i can put chiclet in HAH <3
- freaking, at like 10, my parents tell me they wanna watch a movie, when im taking a shower T__________T. and we do go .. and SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE is some pretty damn sad sh/t, but il est interessant.
the movie finished at like 12:46, and now i'm here.. can't sleep. but have to wake up early for miks :D
GOODNIGHT, peace and love (:
p.s. sorry for not wearing green todaii, st.pats, i still honour yuhhz :$
MIKAELA KANE, I HOPE YOU HAD AN AMAZING BIRTHDAY. I LOVE YOU ( L ) ALWAYS.
i just wanted to let you know, that i love you, because you are one of the most down-to-earth, live your life, straight up, honest people i've ever met in my life. HAHA i love how i can tell you anything, and how you've got my back. I promise you'll find that hot bf of yours, marry him, and stay on birth control for the rest of your life since you hate kids HAHAHAHA jk (: to sum it all up, you are an amazing friend, and your haircut makes you look like a beautiful, loving biznatch, which is such a good thing HAHA. <33333
ATM: i am so muhfuuuhcken sleepy.
THANK YOU TOMMY G, you are like the friend that's always there for me, and knows what i should do even though you've never been in my position. You are the next America's Smartest Model. I swear ( L )
HAHA school ( love love love ) ( chapel chapel chapel ) my two favs did the prayer so my day started really well(denizer). HAHAHA homeroom, FRANCIS COLCOL, i will never forget the way we laugh at how Fed get's so mad at me. OH and i'm making 10 bucks for my h/w with Steven and our Business, thank you.
small things stoppin:
-DRAMA, i don't need it HAHA, stfu and concentrate on your studies (:
big things poppin`:
-TRAMAINE NEVERSON (L) your voice is amazing.
-my game flower (: MY BFL!
-CONGRATS MARIA!
-March 11 Retreat Full Day!
-ANTM 2 HOURS TODAY <3
-RAPS fuhshoer [;
-your IP going down. HAHA
so today went.. uh:
H: Socials, someone made her first blogspot. gravity can't forgetchyalll. guess who! and i can't forget the priceless (attempt) rapping and beatboxing of charlon and i. chyyeaahhaha (H)
E: PE. i can't run anymore, i miss my calf (if that's how you spell it) muscles, now it's all jelly FTL.
F: Science. LOOOL, denzel can pull off lip plumper better than i can.
LUNCH! QUESADILLAS ARE THE BOMB.
G: Religion, watched some boring documentary. Which was somewhat interesting cause it was about St.Pats. so yeah, be prep to watch the YREL9 BLOCKG fail our prayer for St. Pat's feast day coming up sooon.
Make the cut:
and angelo AHAHA bussed me all the way home, WTF right? richmond? no way! but yeah, he did.. which was pretty damn shaaweeet (: He was supposed to go to up to 49th and take the 49th Boos to Main and all that, but NAWW, practice HAHA. oh and at RC, we got hungry, and freaking FAILED ( F MINUS x394702349803 )(SERIOUSLY)(INCOMPLETE) in eating sushi. i am never ordering salmon nigiri infront of anyone again! >:( haha yeah, love yuh, chingling BAHAHAHA, you're funny.
p.s. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you didn't even invite me. i wouldvn't gone anyway, and no, i didn't think it was a trap.. i would've gone if we were friends(again). i'd appreciate it if you would talk to my face when you feel like admitting yourself to your faults, and don't let my name be read on your lips, or they'll be even more ... :/
"wish that it was a perfect world where you could just forgive and forget; but you kind of learn that if someone loses your trust, you have to help them grow too, by giving them the consequence of 'letting them go and moving on..' it's hard to let someone go, but at the same time if you really love them, you're going to teach them what's right. love is selfless."
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